A Letter To My Future Husband.

As i sit in my school library writing this I am worrying. Worrying that my pants are too tight and that i will be called a slut if even my collar bones or shoulders show. I’m worried because I sit in a room of boys who see girls as meat. I’m worried that one day when you propose to me I’ll rely on the ring because men respect other men’s property but NO means nothing to them. As i write this you too are probably in high school still. You probably call girls pretty or hot or sexy. But did you ever call them smart? Intelligent? Something not just about how they look? I know you meant no harm when you called them sexy as they walked past you. Or when they tried to pull their shirt over their butt in worry of being called out in front of the school by a sexist male teacher for being overly provocative. Did you stand up for them? No? You probably didn’t see a need to, you were taught that girls should change themselves because men cannot possibly be to blame. This isn’t your fault. This isn’t your parents nor your grandparents fault either. As i look at my grades, I know men and women share the same worries about college and future. But I think; Do you sit and worry about how you’ll have to work twice as hard as your significant other just so you’ll earn even 75% as much as they do? How will you get ahead in the work place, when everything is male dominated?

What about your daughters? Will they be taken advantage of by a man like your wife was? They will look up to their daddy. He who can protect them in a society that wants to corrupt them. I know youll be a loving father to our girls. You will do anything to protect them and love them with all you have. But before that you will grow out of your high school catcalling phase and move onto college. As will I. There we will probably meet at some party. You will be in a frat and I a sorority. I’ll be nervous to go to the party. What if my drink is spiked? Please don’t touch me. I said NO. I will be hit on by some drunk frat who think that’s it is ok to take advantage of me. I will have to rely on you to come over and put your arm around me to protect me from that guy. I’ll be grateful and we’ll talk which soon will turn into dating and so on. But again, I had to rely on a guy because society will deem me a slut or a bitch any other way I try to do something. Maybe my top was a little tight and my shorts, short. Is it my fault? Thats what I’m told anyway.

I walk down the street, clutching my key in my hand with white knuckles because I have to worry about rape. I have to worry about rape in this society because men make jokes and think its ok. You would never do this right?… Maybe I deserve it… I was dressing a little provocative. Thats what I’m told to think. Its my fault. Men are not to blame. I could be raped and left for dead in an alley because men don’t respect NO. Would u want to see me like this, your sweetheart, mother of you future children; lying on the ground after being abused? No? I didn’t think so. What if I get pregnant from that, the government will tell me its not my choice to decide and the church that its not my choice either. I didnt want this. This wasnt my choice. Maybe I will have the baby and give it all my love, but what if im not ready? Do i want an abortion? You would think that i should choose what happens to my body. But a male dominated society doesnt think so. I should be allowed birth control right? Because a man like that couldnt keep it in his pants or because I just want to have sex and not worry about pregnancy. See, men wont have to deal with the consequences. You could get an STD and thats horrible as it is… but you cant get pregnant or have to worry about a baby.

I should be allowed access to tampons and pads and not have it cost a few days pay sometimes just so I can be prepared ¬†because of the thing I cannot control every month. To all males if you are reading this, It’s not ok to touch me when i don’t want it. Rape culture is not ok. And women equality is NOT fixed. We deserve respect and should not have to cower in fear… Would you want the love of your life, you wife, your equall; treated unequally? Then dont let it start. You can make the difference. We, women, will not back down in fear. We will continue to fight for equall pay, the right to control our own bodies, and respect.

Dear future husband, If you are reading this don’t let sexism happen.

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